When someone you care about is having thoughts of suicide, it can feel totally overwhelming. You might not know what to say or worry you’ll just make things worse. But you don’t need to have all the answers. Just showing up and being there for them can really help. Find out how to spot the signs of suicidal thinking To Help A Suicidal Friend, how to talk about suicide and mental health, and where to go for help and encouragement. You don’t have to face this alone.
How to tell if someone is thinking about suicide
The National Institute of Mental Health says some signs that someone might be thinking about suicide include:
- Talking about wanting to die
- Saying they feel like a burden
- Doing risky things like driving unsafely
- Drinking or using drugs more
- Having really big mood swings
- Getting violent
- Thinking a lot about death
- Crying for no clear reason
- Feeling really bad emotional or physical pain
Knowing these signs can help you know when to check in on your friend or get help from a pro.
Subtle signs of suicidal thoughts that can be easy to miss
Not all signs of suicidal thoughts are obvious. A friend thinking about ending their life might stop making future plans or give away important things. A big change in their habits, like eating or sleeping a lot more or less, can also be a sign. Even if your friend isn’t thinking of suicide, these signs could mean they’re depressed and could use some professional help.
Things that make suicide more likely
The Centers for Disease Control points out several things that can make someone more likely to think about suicide. These include personal stuff, relationship problems, and community issues:
- Tried to commit suicide before
- Issues with the law or crime
- Being a victim or doing violence
- A loved one tried to commit suicide
- Feeling alone
- Arguments in relationships
- Bad experiences as a kid
- Violence in the community
- Mental illness
- Easy access to ways to commit suicide, like weapons
On the flip side, some things can make suicide less likely. Having good relationships and feeling connected to others can protect against suicide risk.
The impact of talking openly about mental health
A lot of people wrongly think that talking about suicide with someone will make them more likely to do it. This idea might make you scared to talk to a friend you’re worried about. But studies show that’s not true. Talking openly about suicide can actually lower the chances of someone going through with it, so it’s okay to have those conversations in other To Help A Suicidal Friend.
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Questions that encourage honest conversations about mental health
Questions like Are you okay? or How are you doing? often get vague answers. Try starting the conversation with specific questions about how your friend is feeling, like:
- What would make you feel better right now?
- How are you handling everything going on?
- Have you thought about hurting yourself?
- I’ve noticed you’ve been keeping to yourself lately. What’s been happening?
- Would you like me to sit with you while you call a crisis line?
Be ready to listen without judging and let there be silence in the conversation instead of talking to fill it. Just listening can mean a lot to someone who is feeling suicidal.
What to do if you think your friend is thinking about suicide
The Jed Foundation has a step-by-step guide for what to do if you’re worried about a friend.
If you don’t think they’re in immediate danger, try to talk when you won’t be interrupted and they can speak freely. Point out what specific behaviors made you worried, and ask directly if they’ve thought about suicide.
If your friend says yes, try to stay calm and ask more questions to really understand what they’re thinking. Listen and show that you get how they feel. You might want to try to cheer them up, but this could make it seem like you’re brushing off their feelings. Ask if you can help them connect with professional help like a therapist or crisis hotline.
Sometimes, someone might not want to open up. If that happens, ask who else they might talk to. Your friend might ask you to keep their feelings a secret, but the Jed Foundation says you shouldn’t promise that. Instead, make sure they get professional help.
There might be times when you think your friend is in serious danger of trying to commit suicide. In that case, ask if they have a plan to end their life and what that plan is. If you think someone is in immediate danger, stay with them and call emergency services.
Related Article : How to Convince Yourself Not to Commit Suicide: A Compassionate Guide for Hard Moments
Ways to actually help a suicidal friend
If your friend is thinking about suicide, you might not know the best way to help. Here are some specific things you can do:
Be there
By showing up, you’re reminding your friend they’re not alone. Even if you don’t talk, just being there can make them feel better and more secure. It also reminds them that people care about them.
Check in often with someone thinking about suicide
Ask direct questions and talk plainly about suicide. Ask why they want to live and why they want to die. When they answer, show you’re really listening by saying what they said back in your own words.
Remove or make it harder to get weapons
Take away anything that could be used as a weapon, like guns, medicine, or knives, from your friend’s home. Studies show this is one of the best ways to stop suicide and is often part of a good safety plan.
Share suicide prevention numbers and resources
In the U.S., the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is open 24/7/365 if you call or text 988. It’s free, and calls are private. Volunteers will listen without judging and are trained to figure out risk and connect people with local help if needed.
prevention resources to Help A Suicidal Friend
To learn more about how to help a loved one thinking about suicide, check out these places:
- The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has lots of help for people having suicidal thoughts, those who’ve lost someone to suicide, or anyone helping a loved one after a suicide crisis.
- The Suicide Prevention Resource Center has an online learning area where you can learn about preventing suicide in different places.
- The National Alliance for Suicide Prevention has a library of resources that you can sort by topic and type to find just what you need.
- The Trevor Project is a nonprofit focused on preventing suicide specifically for LGBTQ+ young people. They offer several resources for talking about suicide and knowing what signs to look for.
- The Jed Foundation is a nonprofit trying to stop suicide in teens and young adults, started by parents who lost their son to suicide. Their mental health resource library can be sorted by how you’re feeling and your age group.
Protect your own mental health when Helping A Suicidal Friend
Helping someone who is thinking about suicide can be really hard emotionally. It’s important to take care of your own mental health too. If you’re worried about a friend, think about having a few people check in on them so all the pressure isn’t just on you.
Make sure you’re taking care of your own needs. Get enough sleep, move your body, and get support from loved ones. You can also talk to a mental health professional about what’s going on. The burden of helping someone who is thinking about suicide can be heavy, but you don’t have to carry it all yourself. In therapy, you can share what you’re going through and learn new ways to cope.
If your busy schedule doesn’t allow for weekly therapy appointments, online therapy might work well. With platforms like ShroomHomies, you can schedule therapy whenever it suits you, like during your lunch break or late at night after studying. Years of research have shown that online therapy is helpful for things like depression and anxiety, and it can make people’s lives better overall.
Reducing the stigma around suicidal thoughts
The shame linked to mental health problems can stop people from getting help. By talking openly and directly about suicide and mental health, you can help reduce that stigma. It might also help to talk about your own struggles with mental health and what you’ve done to feel better. The more something is talked about, the less uncomfortable people might feel about it.
Takeaway
Big changes in mood or behavior could mean your friend is thinking about suicide. If you spot these signs, check in to see how they’re doing. There are many online resources and crisis hotlines available for help. While you’re supporting your friend, don’t forget to take care of your own mental health too. Ask loved ones for help and think about talking to a therapist about what’s happening.
How To Help A Suicidal Friend